Whimsy is…

Last night the Mr. and I were snuggled up in bed after enjoy the nice fall weather.

I could tell he was thinking about something and was forming the word to talk about.  (We’ve been married a long time)

I was getting all geared up to hear something deep from his heart about how glad he is to have married me, I make his life complete…  something along those lines.

And he said…..

“I sure am glad I got the bigger table saw”

Apparently I haven’t been married to him long enough.  I should have seen that coming.

again.

We made a quick trip to Columbus Ohio to visit Quarter Horse Congress.

We have a super amazing fabulous project going on at the shop, that I can’t talk about here and let me tell you it is KILLING me!

A project that necessitated a trip to Congress.

It was fun, but quick. I really wanted to stay another day, but DH was set on coming home. He’s like an old horse that way. Once he gets pointed in the direction of home, it’s hard to keep him away.

We left on Friday, spent Saturday at Congress, and left for home Sat evening. (it about a 10 hour trip)

DH drove most of the way, but I took over in the middle of Illinois to let him sleep.

I had my trusty audible book I was antsy to hear and he doesn’t like it so much when he talks to me only to see a pink cord hanging out of my other ear.

So I had miles of interstate, a new cup of good coffee and my “book”

Except for the crazy wind, driving was sweet.

Especially when we came to St. Louis. When we travel to the east, I feel like I’m “home” when I see the arch. I count it a blessing if it’s at night. I had to split my attention and make sure I was making the right connections in the swirly mass of highway exits, but still - the beauty was intense.

I love soaking up the city in the middle of the night. Not much traffic, lights all glittering. Undecided if I like driving though. On one hand, there was no one distracting me by talking. OTOH, actually driving takes a certain amount of attention.

I think it’s curious how much it feels like “home” even though I’ve never lived there and really only come to the city for baseball games, shopping and doctor visits.

(I’m still not used to the new Busch stadium. I still look for the old one)

My father’s family moved to the country (where we still live) from “the city” in the 1960’s. Numerous aunts, uncles and cousins are still there.

I’ve heard so many stories that the places seem familiar. The street signs remind me of different tales that make me smile. I can see them in my mind. Of course, they are the visions that passed on to me from long ago memories of other people. So in all likelihood, they bear no resemblance to the places of today.

But I’m only traveling down the interstate. I’m not turning off onto any of those streets. They are safe from reality.

I do a lot of complaining about how hard it is to work because the kids are always here with me. Today I needed to do some intensely focused work and get it done quickly before we leave on a trip. So I didn’t bring any kids in with me.

And guess what….

I can’t concentrate. I keep looking around for the kids.

and not always liking it so much.

I was raised on the idea of letting the boys win. It’s not worth wounding their pride over you know?

I’ve also lived most of my married life that way. And it worked well for us. He was spoiled, I was spoiled. On the occasion it got out of balance, I let him know (crying, pouting and stomping may or may not have been involved) and it went back to normal.

Was I getting a little cocky in my infinite marital wisdom of over 10 years? Maybe. So God threw us a new wrinkle.

Business.

When it started it was pretty much all Jeff. His baby so to speak. And his baby grew. That’s a good thing. I was happy when it grew big enough for me to quit my job and stay home to “help”

I was happy when I got to enjoy my first pregnancy (4th child) not working full time for “the man”

I was happy when it grew enough to move out of our home and into it’s very own shop.

I was happy when I got my own office WITH a crib, rocking chair for nursing AND room for schooling the kids.

I was happy that my skill from the workforce were going to be benefiting my DH in his business.

But then slowly, the balance shifted.

All things production were Jeff and all things office, sales and managerial were mine.

I’m a pretty bossy and opinionated (and outgoing) person, so for the most part I was cool with that.

Except for days like today. When my opinion and Jeff’s don’t match. I still let him win a lot, but there are times (like today) when I’m right and it’s important that we do it my way.

Important in the realm of meeting government requirements and customers expectations.

We’ve discussed this, my husband and I.

Part of me is under the influence that I should submit to him no matter what. Let the consequences fall on his shoulders. I like that idea because it absolves me of responsibility.

However, I can’t get by the fact that God put these abilities in me for a reason. And put me with Jeff. And this business to us.

Jeff feels that the helpmeet role is much more important than the submissive wife. (in our lives - YMMV)

Even when the helpmeet is making steam come out of his ears and causing him to slam things.

Until he thanks me for making his do the right thing.

Now if I could just get an exact time on that…..

This is not one of those “Eureka! I’ve figured it all out” posts.

This is a “this is the tip of the iceberg” type post.

I have many, many thoughts swirling in my head so it’s very likely they may not make a lot of sense. I am also not going to try to do much editing just yet. I just want to get it down.

I read this great post by Mary Hunt of Debt Proof Living.

How not to feel poor

If you can, pop over there and read it. (It should open in a new window)

This is SO my problem. I grew up pretty poor. We always had food, but I didn’t always have clothes that fit or were in style. Of course, my best friends certainly did. I always felt like “less” because of it.

As you can imagine, this has followed me into adulthood.

I will be super frugal and deny myself, and then BAM! It all blows up.

I hope to find the middle road. I am not being frugal because I am poor. I am frugal because I want the BEST out of each dollar.

So when my kids ask for some shoes at Walmart I have these choices:

• a. No, we can’t afford it. (makes me feel poor)
• b. Darn it! I work hard. Don’t tell me I can’t even afford Walmart shoes for my kids. (poor thinking)
• c. I’d rather wait and buy better shoes somewhere else. (RICH)

I’ll admit that yesterday, I chose B. Which then opened the flood gates of buying. I bought the littlest bug a couple of shirts and jeans.

Did she NEED them? Well - yes. But not that instant. We certainly could have waiting for my to find them used (hello Ebay). We could have gotten much better quality for the same money.

It’s not that the money shouldn’t have been spent. It’s that I could have easily gotten more/better with it.

If your husband was…… oh say…. going to spend the day gathering cattle, would you

a. prepare him a nutrious breakfast and pack him a hearty lunch to take with him

b. make sure he had some candy bars and soda

c. not worry your sleeping head about it

I went with C. I didn’t think anything about it because he’s a big boy and all.

Apparently this was not one of those mornings.

I just talked to him (to tell him I didn’t cook anything for supper none the less) and he said he has only had a Dr. Pepper all day.

Oh the guilt.

I called him back real quick to tell him we’re under a boil order (like that was the reason I hadn’t cooked - nothing to do with the 3 hour nap I took)

Wait a minute!!! Where’d he get that Dr. Pepper? If he stopped for soda, he should have thought ahead and got some snacks right? right?

Possible reprieve from the guilt in sight…….

I used to really enjoy shopping. Now with 4 kids, it is no longer fun. It is grueling drudgery. And expensive. I am learning to be frugal with both my time and money. So the shopping trips just aren’t cutting it.

One thing I really love to do and don’t do much is visiting with my grandma. I need to do this more often. She raised me and I know she’s lonely much of the time. I am making her one of my highest priorities.

Yesterday, the girls and I did a massive clothing purge. I have clothes issues. I hang onto clothes that are stained, torn, don’t fit or that I just plain don’t like. They might come in handy one day. I might convert those outgrown overalls into dresses for the littlest one.

Yeah. Right.

Instead I just end up washing them repeatedly as they get dumped out while everyone is looking for clothes that fit and are presentable to wear.

I won’t tell you just how much we threw away. Let’s just say it was a LOT. I did keep back anything in good enough quality to go on Ebay. This filled one small tub .

Now our clothing needs are glaringly obvious. Is a shopping trip looming in my future? I hope not. I thought about spending the afternoon shopping, but I really don’t like spending my Sunday’s that way. And I had no peace about it. I really want to go see my Nana.

But the kids need clothes. Not sorta need. Actually NEED before the weather turns cool. (and I’m living on borrowed time with that as it is)

What to do? What to do? Then I remembered than my friend Dawn said to always look to Ebay first.

Bingo! I found several lots of clothing in the sizes I need for the prices I want to pay. I had tried ebay previously, but was discouraged by the shipping prices per item. By the time I bought what I needed, it would cost me WAY too much. I tried using sellers who combined shipping, but I’d get it all confused and not win enough from any one seller. Then I remembered LOTS!!! I looked for clothes listed in lots only. Many items for one price. I’m pretty excited. I’m planning to get the base of our fall clothes that way. The twins (being teens and all) can pick a few individual items to spice it up.

AND my afternoon is free for Nana.

A new hitch for my new (to me) Suburban. You’ll probably be hearing more about the ‘burban. But today is all about the hitch.

Jeff felt it needed a hitch. Do I plan on towing anything? NO. But you know, you can’t go wrong with a good hitch. I was going to say that of our too many trailers, NONE of them are the bumper pull type. But upon further reflection, I realized that we do, indeed have something I could pull. The Boy is currently using the trailer for his clubhouse. But if it ever needs to be evacuated. I’m ready.

The guys all leave early on Friday and for a brief second I thought I might be asked to help.

AHHH once again, my children come to my rescue.

Do not be alarmed. I know it looks like my children are in harm’s way. Actually, it’s just 2 of them. NO, I’m kidding. They are uphill of the wheels and all safety precautions have been taken. And I’m right there taking the pictures remember?

YUP, I’m knitting a scarf. I discovered the beauty of the scarf last year at almost the end of winter.

I’m a knitting snob. It’s purely for pleasure and I like to knit cool things. I kinda felt like scarves were “beneath” me. That and I have a short attention span. I have to switch it up a lot.

And then I found some beautiful scarf patterns. Well, I take that back. First I found some gorgeous yarn that is a silk/wool blend. SILK and WOOL!! Two of my favorite fibers. In one glorious pink skein. I had to have it close to me. I could only afford two skeins. What could I make? I am not exaggerating when I say I have tried several patterns but none of them yarn worthy.

I have been petting, winding, unwinding, casting on and frogging this yarn for about 8 months. It’s time has come.

Seaweed and shells is the one.

What? you’d like to see a picture? Well sure!

This is her picture, not mine. I’m still casting on.